12/29/2004
Ladies, We Need To Talk
I've given this a lot of thought, and I think we need to call it off. I have one semester of law school left, and then I walk. No BarBri, no bar exam, no MPRE, no professional standards or worsted wool sausage casings. I've been telling myself for a long time that I need art in my life, but every attempt so far turned out distinctly half-assed, and I've had enough. I will have art in my life, and I'm no longer willing to negotiate anything less than a life in art. I've never had money; why start now?

Yeah. So, Miss Sallie Mae. Looks like you're going to have to find someone else to cover the rent, old girl. Sorry about that. That is, unless you accept gently worn clothing in lieu of cash.

Come June, I will never again type the word "hereinafter." Shut off my Westlaw, la-la-la. I don't care. You were nimble and educational, Miss Thomson, but the passion - that delirious heat? Let's just say your technique was less than miraculous. This last semester, I'm just in it for the backpacks, hon. Truly, you give really sublime backpack.

And, um, UT? Please don't ask me to tithe. You'll only embarrass us both. If I write a bestseller, I'll be sure to set up a parachute fund for all those misguided creatives who thought lawyering sounded more fulfilling than slugging tequila shots with possibly dangerous women. I sorta wish someone would say to me, "Relax, kid. You just dust off that geetar, and we'll build you an apartment out of ABA come-on letters and several thousand copies of last year's civil procedure text (there's a new edition anyway, you know)." That's real loan forgiveness.

Finally, I'm leaving you too, lady law. The blindfold was sort of a turn-on, but the sword always made me just a wee bit nervous. You'll be okay. Look, I'll be honest with you, because I know you won't take it personally. I just need someone a bit less metallic to nibble on.
 
# by Chris @ 8:55 PM
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