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10/01/2004
Kerry To Bush: Kiss My Knuckles
Are you for real, Mr. David Brooks? When you obsequiously told Gwen Ifill that Bush held his own in last night's debate, was that really your objective assessment of the situation?
We both know better, mouth-breather. I saw the phony smile, and knew it for what it was. You shone with the sick fear-glaze of a man who just put his life's savings on a nag that shattered both forelegs five lengths out of the gate.
I've been following presidential politics closely since 1992, and I've never witnessed such a drubbing in my life. If the debate had been a schoolyard brawl, Bush would be missing clumps of hair and have half a pound of dirt in his stomach. Bush didn't come off presidential; he came off like a too-cocky mobile home salesman cornered by righteously angry customers after the hurricane.
Even when invoking that fabled "valley of peace" - we don't really know where that is, but Porter Goss is workin' real hard on it - he still managed to project peevishness. Kerry hammered at the administrations errors in judgment, its self-destructive foreign policy, its militant swagger. Several times, the camera cut to Bush staring down at the lectern, looking sullen and wormy. He would just stand there, blinking, for two or three seconds. That's an eternity on television, when someone is expected to talk when all you hear is the hissing of the feed.
I have two theories about why this happened.
One, maybe he was trying to build suspense. Perhaps, somewhere deep in the bowels of the Bush campaign, someone decided to simulate that moment of giddy anticipation before the cowboy hero reaches for his gun. My advice to you, anonymous wannabe television producer: Don't do that. It doesn't quite have the effect you're looking for. John Wayne never had that "is that camera on me?" look.
My second theory is that he was planning his next move. Maybe he was studying his debate notes, plotting his next move. Tough choices must be made, and George W. Bush is the right man to make those choices. So what's it going to be? Which of a handful of emotionally charged words and phrases best fits the situation?
It didn't work. Listening to Bush wasn't like listening to a presidential candidate explain his positions. It was like being psychologically programmed through repetition and the invocation of loaded symbols. I didn't like it all. Something about this exploitation of powerful negative images profoundly creeps me out. Bush seems to aspire to iconic status, to say iconic things.
That he has done, though maybe not in the way he intended. George W. Bush is an icon - to macho dick-swinging, to greed, to corrupt cornpone wisdom.
And despite all that, the Bush of the first debate looked deflated, smaller than life - as if he couldn't quite wear the crown of Dick-Swinger-In-Chief. That gives me hope. Bush looks as if he needs another couple of months clearing brush back at the ranch. Maybe that can be arranged after all.
Bush on the Iraq mission: "It is hard work to go from a tyranny to a democracy. It's hard work to go from a place where people get their hands cut off, or executed, to a place where people are free."
Said, without a trace of irony, by same guy who presided over the executions of 152 people while governor of Texas
We both know better, mouth-breather. I saw the phony smile, and knew it for what it was. You shone with the sick fear-glaze of a man who just put his life's savings on a nag that shattered both forelegs five lengths out of the gate.
I've been following presidential politics closely since 1992, and I've never witnessed such a drubbing in my life. If the debate had been a schoolyard brawl, Bush would be missing clumps of hair and have half a pound of dirt in his stomach. Bush didn't come off presidential; he came off like a too-cocky mobile home salesman cornered by righteously angry customers after the hurricane.
Even when invoking that fabled "valley of peace" - we don't really know where that is, but Porter Goss is workin' real hard on it - he still managed to project peevishness. Kerry hammered at the administrations errors in judgment, its self-destructive foreign policy, its militant swagger. Several times, the camera cut to Bush staring down at the lectern, looking sullen and wormy. He would just stand there, blinking, for two or three seconds. That's an eternity on television, when someone is expected to talk when all you hear is the hissing of the feed.
I have two theories about why this happened.
One, maybe he was trying to build suspense. Perhaps, somewhere deep in the bowels of the Bush campaign, someone decided to simulate that moment of giddy anticipation before the cowboy hero reaches for his gun. My advice to you, anonymous wannabe television producer: Don't do that. It doesn't quite have the effect you're looking for. John Wayne never had that "is that camera on me?" look.
My second theory is that he was planning his next move. Maybe he was studying his debate notes, plotting his next move. Tough choices must be made, and George W. Bush is the right man to make those choices. So what's it going to be? Which of a handful of emotionally charged words and phrases best fits the situation?
It didn't work. Listening to Bush wasn't like listening to a presidential candidate explain his positions. It was like being psychologically programmed through repetition and the invocation of loaded symbols. I didn't like it all. Something about this exploitation of powerful negative images profoundly creeps me out. Bush seems to aspire to iconic status, to say iconic things.
That he has done, though maybe not in the way he intended. George W. Bush is an icon - to macho dick-swinging, to greed, to corrupt cornpone wisdom.
And despite all that, the Bush of the first debate looked deflated, smaller than life - as if he couldn't quite wear the crown of Dick-Swinger-In-Chief. That gives me hope. Bush looks as if he needs another couple of months clearing brush back at the ranch. Maybe that can be arranged after all.
And now, your Moment of Zen
(since John Stewart's after the debates sucked):
(since John Stewart's after the debates sucked):
Bush on the Iraq mission: "It is hard work to go from a tyranny to a democracy. It's hard work to go from a place where people get their hands cut off, or executed, to a place where people are free."
Said, without a trace of irony, by same guy who presided over the executions of 152 people while governor of Texas
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by Chris @ 5:45 AM
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