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5/10/2004
Am I crazy? Yes, probably I am.
Well, just finished my horrid capital punishment final. My friend Matt offered me a stick of gum as we left the exam room; I heard "gun," and was fully prepared to take him up on the offer. As a matter of fact, I'll take two.
I love law school, with the exception of the part where I have to take finals. But this latest disappointment is precipitating yet another crisis of confidence. I'd really like to pursue an academic career, but my grades aren't where they need to be and I'm beginning to think I just haven't the intellectual capacity to pull it off. And yet I forge ahead, oblivious to any practical considerations, such as maybe I'll fall flat on my face after taking on $65K in debt and acquiring no marketable skills. Is this the semester where I finally acknowledge defeat, or will I pile on another year of sexy and practically useless constitutional law classes? We shall see.
Of course, I could alleviate the devastating impact of less than stellar grades by publishing brilliant articles, but so far, zip. Do I have an original idea to my name? A startling intuition bubbling in my brain? I should be so lucky. Maybe it's time to face the fact that I'm probably just above average and no more. But am I willing to let the ambition go and focus on something safer and more attainable? Again, we shall see. I have no more faith in my instincts for self-preservation than I do in my ability to dazzle my professors with novel and incisive reasoning.
I love law school, with the exception of the part where I have to take finals. But this latest disappointment is precipitating yet another crisis of confidence. I'd really like to pursue an academic career, but my grades aren't where they need to be and I'm beginning to think I just haven't the intellectual capacity to pull it off. And yet I forge ahead, oblivious to any practical considerations, such as maybe I'll fall flat on my face after taking on $65K in debt and acquiring no marketable skills. Is this the semester where I finally acknowledge defeat, or will I pile on another year of sexy and practically useless constitutional law classes? We shall see.
Of course, I could alleviate the devastating impact of less than stellar grades by publishing brilliant articles, but so far, zip. Do I have an original idea to my name? A startling intuition bubbling in my brain? I should be so lucky. Maybe it's time to face the fact that I'm probably just above average and no more. But am I willing to let the ambition go and focus on something safer and more attainable? Again, we shall see. I have no more faith in my instincts for self-preservation than I do in my ability to dazzle my professors with novel and incisive reasoning.
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by Chris @ 6:10 PM