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2/18/2004
No to Dean, no to Edwards
And once again, Dean goes down in flames, this time in Wisconsin. Is there any way his campaign advisors (if he still has any left) can just make him quit? Could they just hogtie him, throw him in the back of a pickup truck (complete with Confederate flag decals, naturally) and spirit him back to Burlington? Better yet, if we all got together and donated enough money to send him on an extended vacation of twice-daily shiatsu massage and mild tranquilizers, would he go? Pretty please?
Edwards, on the other hand, did surprisingly well in Wisconsin if the early returns are any indication. I hope this signals no more than a desire to keep Kerry honest, and not a serious swell in support for Edwards. I admit: I like the guy, and he'd probably make a pretty good VP candidate, being southern and relentlessly cheerful, but president? Uh-uh. Three reasons:
1. Too young. Sorry. On the other hand, in a VP debate Edwards makes Dick Cheney look like the corrupt, bloated corpse he is.
2. Too inexperienced. OK. Maybe I could see having a senator from nowhere, but not a president. We've tried that for almost four years now, and look where it got us.
3. Past career. I mean, come on. The guy was a very successful plaintiff-side trial lawyer! Anyone who thinks a trial lawyer is going to get elected president badly underestimates the American public's visceral and (mostly) irrational hatred and contempt for lawyers, and plaintiffs' lawyers in particular. Republicans will show up at his campaign rallies and douse him with scalding McDonald's coffee just to drive the point home. That, and if you think the defense firms and insurance companies are shelling out big money to the Bush campaign now, just imagine the deluge if Edwards won the nomination. I mean, who needs to spend cash on TV ads when you can just buy CNN? (Fox News, of course, has already signed on to Bush 2004 for free).
Edwards, on the other hand, did surprisingly well in Wisconsin if the early returns are any indication. I hope this signals no more than a desire to keep Kerry honest, and not a serious swell in support for Edwards. I admit: I like the guy, and he'd probably make a pretty good VP candidate, being southern and relentlessly cheerful, but president? Uh-uh. Three reasons:
1. Too young. Sorry. On the other hand, in a VP debate Edwards makes Dick Cheney look like the corrupt, bloated corpse he is.
2. Too inexperienced. OK. Maybe I could see having a senator from nowhere, but not a president. We've tried that for almost four years now, and look where it got us.
3. Past career. I mean, come on. The guy was a very successful plaintiff-side trial lawyer! Anyone who thinks a trial lawyer is going to get elected president badly underestimates the American public's visceral and (mostly) irrational hatred and contempt for lawyers, and plaintiffs' lawyers in particular. Republicans will show up at his campaign rallies and douse him with scalding McDonald's coffee just to drive the point home. That, and if you think the defense firms and insurance companies are shelling out big money to the Bush campaign now, just imagine the deluge if Edwards won the nomination. I mean, who needs to spend cash on TV ads when you can just buy CNN? (Fox News, of course, has already signed on to Bush 2004 for free).
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by Chris @ 8:48 PM
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